The really short version: I have met a really nice girl here in Taiwan, her name is 瓊玉 (her English name is Vanessa) and she is wonderful. We met for the first time roughly six weeks ago and our relationship has improved ever since. If you want to know more about my girlfriend and how we met, I suggest you read the rest of this article.

The extended edition: Seen at a distance, Qióng-Yù seems to be the kind of person whose progress in life is unperturbed by the nuisances of everyday problems endured by the rest of mankind. She is cool, composed and comely, even though the rest of the world is stiflingly hot and bustling with noise. Being aloof from these things, she appears to occupy a world of her own, and only through some inexplicable stroke of luck a window has opened between our worlds.

Coming closer, these characteristics prevail, but they spin and twist, transforming themselves into a somewhat different composition. Her charisma has much in common with a bright and sparkling torch, something which is not apparent if standing outside the beam of light. Once in its scope, the light is incandescent, almost overwhelming at times. Such a light must come from a source of abundant energy, warmth and intelligence, a source I wanted to know more about as soon as I discovered its existence.

It took us a while to get a photograph for this article. I think she looks good on almost any photo, but for some reason she does not agree. This is adequate, even though I seem to take up much more space than I ought to. Stay tuned for more pictures; I am sure that there will be plenty of opportunities to take more in the future.

I met Qióng-yù for the first time only six weeks weeks ago, but it feels like much longer. The reason for our first encounter was my posting a note about language exchange, and after some initial communication via e-mail and instant messaging, we decided to meet on 20th September. Ironically, we were both intent on a serious language exchange, and explicitly stated that there should be no other motives (her words were “I am not looking for a handsome foreigner to hang out with”). The first time we met, this seemed like a reasonable plan. I was certain that our language exchange would prove very useful for me and hopefully also for her; perhaps I also felt that we would become friends.

It was the second time we met that I began to know her better, the reason being that we met for two days instead of only six hours. We spent most of the time talking about ourselves, language, philosophy, culture and life in general. I felt almost instantly that she is the kind of person I am very likely to be close to, because we share some important basic personality traits. Save for the slight problems with language, our conversation felt much like the ones I would have with my best friends in Sweden, so meeting her was very rewarding indeed, even though it also brought some pangs of home sickness when she left, taking with her the light and energy that had permeated my apartment for a couple of days.

Then we resorted to the internet for communication, since she lives in various other parts of Taiwan. From our second meeting and onwards, I was certain that there was much more to this than just language exchange, I felt that I had also found a friend who was on the same wavelength as me in many respects. However, it only gradually dawned on me that there was something stirring in me that wanted to go even further than being close friends. If I believed in some higher power, it would of course be easy to explain what happened, but since I do not, the question is more complex. Regardless of the answer, circumstances and the two of us managed to create a process leading up to my voicing what I felt. I never intended to do so, because even if we had met very intensely, we had only done so a few times. My rational self was alarmed by the breakneck speed at which our relationship developed. However, rationality seldom trumps emotions, and in this case I did what I felt was right, rather than doing what I thought I ought to have done. Fortunately, my appreciation of the situation was not skewed, because it turned out that the the feelings were mutual.

Where do we go from here? Slowly. Together, we are standing at the edge of   a meadow, with mutual fondness that goes beyond friendship as our starting point. In front of us, the landscape is undiscovered, draped in twilight, but with scintillating lights here and there. There might also be pitfalls, crevasses and darkness, but if we tread carefully, I am convinced that we can negotiate our way past lurking dangers and find much delight in a joint adventure discovering the future ahead of us.

Even though we are alike in many regards, there are of course notable differences. At this early stage, it is impossible to say what will prove to be most determining for our future relationship, but right now I feel that language might be one of the more important differences. For my part, I am a native speaker of Swedish, not English or Chinese. I consider myself fluent in English, but it is not the same as being a native speaker. I still find it difficult to express exactly what I think or feel in certain situations. It is not a question of finding words or speaking in a natural way, but rather that such talk required an acute feeling for the nuances of words and expressions.

Naturally, the question of language is two-headed beast, because Vanessa’s first language is Chinese. Even if her ability is much better than that of most people I have met here in Taiwan, there is of course a reason she wanted to do language exchange in the first place. This means that we have in common no language we know very well. Perhaps I make it sound like this is a great problem, but that is not what it feels. In English, we can talk about everything from Chinese philosophy to intimate feelings, and so far it has turned out satisfactorily. Of course, sometimes we need to find alternate routes to reach an indented destination, but it rarely happens that we do not arrive there in the end. It might take time and concentration, but I definitely think it is worth it.

Taming this beast will take time, but it is something I look forward to. Not only do I enjoy English and gladly help her with it, but the primary reason for my being in Taiwan in the first place is to learn Chinese. Thus, there are two ways to bridge the language gap. Firstly, I am sure that her English will improve rapidly, because her grasp of written English is good; it is a question of converting that knowledge in to speaking and listening. Secondly, I do not doubt that my Chinese will improve as quickly. Of course, her English is many times better than my Chinese, but I will do everything in my power to close the distance. A mixture of studying diligently and speaking Chinese with her is what I see as my ticket to the future.

Apart from that, there is also the difference of culture and experience. Even though I feel that life in Taiwan is not fundamentally different from that in Sweden, I am certain that this is an illusion. I think there are core differences I have not discovered yet because I am still a tourist. Negotiating such problems will be tough, but talking is the only way to do it. We both need to be careful with what we say and do, and be on the lookout for differences in interpretation. This might sometimes be annoying, but I feel that too many questions are better than too few. Also, we are in different situations in life. I am in the middle of my university education and have several years left at best, and even though she is also studying, her situation is different. To begin with, she is eight years older than I am. She has already graduated from university, pursued a career as a dancer and now begun studying for a doctorate degree in international relations. She is from Taiwan; I am from Sweden

Considering this landscape of differences and similarities that is the future, I understand that it will not always be easy. However, I think there is a good chance that we will be able to overcome problems we run into along the way. I feel that what we have in common is more important than our differences. Of course, only time can prove me right or wrong, but right now it feels just wonderful.